She Can Haunt Anyone
by MrDrP
Summary: After Kim and Ron receive an unexpected visitor, nothing will ever be the same for our heroes ... COMPLETE
1. Possibly Poltergeists

Ron Stoppable, dressed in a white dinner jacket, black bow tie, purple shirt, and gray trousers, emerged through the hatch and into the old tree house where he was pulled into an intense kiss by his girlfriend-turned-fiancée Kim Possible, who was attired in a blue strapless Sperlucci dress with coordinated necklace and bracelet.

The two college students were dressed to the nines – not only was Kim wearing her hair up, something she often did on special occasions, but Ron had actually traded in his ever-present sneakers for shoes. Earlier that evening they had supped at Chez Couteaux where, over a romantic, coupon-free dinner, the tow-headed sidekick had proposed marriage to the auburn-haired teen hero, who had happily and quickly accepted. The two young lovers, lips now locked, stumbled over to, and then fell upon, the battered couch that dominated the ramshackle aerie.

Ron's hand was beneath the hem of Kim's dress and quickly moving northwards while her fingers were gripping his backside, ensuring that her best friend beloved's bottom would be going nowhere. Physical manifestations of romantic inclinations were intensifying (i.e., the make-out session was growing hot and heavy) when the newly affianced heard the unmistakable sound of someone clearing a throat. Tongues stopped dancing, hands stopped exploring, clichés took a breather and two sets of eyes flew open, instinctively needing to see who had joined them. Upon indentifying their uninvited companion, Ron screamed – courageously, of course – and Kim paled.

Standing in the center of the tree house was a tall, lanky figure who wore a black, cowled robe and carried a large, weathered scythe. No face was visible, but ancient skeletal hands poked out from his sleeves. "Sorry to disturb you," Death said in a surprisingly genial voice. "I made better time getting over here than expected."

Kim and Ron, stunned by the unexpected visit, exchanged a disbelieving glance.

"What?" Death asked. "Was it something I said?"

Kim's shock quickly morphed into anger. "You so can't be here to tell us we're dead," she said.

"Actually, I am," he said. "Take a look."

Kim and Ron were surprised to find themselves standing next to Death, looking at themselves locked in what had been an intimate, passion-filled encounter on the couch.

"A touching tableau, really," Death observed as he looked at the twined forms of the two very recently deceased lovers. "People will talk about it for years to come."

When Ron saw just where his hand was, he gulped. "Your Dad is so going to kill me when they find us."

"I don't think that's going to be a problem," Kim said drily.

"Huh?" Ron said. "Oh, yeah, I guess you're right," he added, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry."

Kim rolled her eyes, then, hip cocked and arms folded across her chest, glared at Death. "Now what's the stinkin' sitch?"

"I'm Death, you're dead, and it's time to go."

Ron looked at their unwanted visitor through narrowed eyes. "Dude, how do we know you're really Death?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Ron challenged. "Just because you've got that hook thingie and, what I'll admit is a pretty cool hood, I still need to see some ID."

"ID?"

"Yeah, a driver's license or maybe a passport," he explained. "Something that tells KP and me that you're the Grim Reaper and not some wannabe poser."

"You've got to be kidding me," Death said incredulously.

"Note serious face," Ron replied. "The Rondo wants proof."

"This is insane," Death shot back.

"Understatement much?" Kim asked.

"Thank you," Death said, unable to hide his exasperation.

"Actually, I'm talking about you," she said in her most annoyed tone. "In case you haven't noticed, we're so not ready to go to the Great Beyond."

"Whether you're ready or not isn't the issue," Death countered. "If your name's on the list, your time is up. End of discussion."

"You've got a list?" Ron asked.

"Actually, a printout," Death said as he withdrew a large sheaf of paper from within his sleeve. "That way there are no mistakes. See, here you are," he noted, holding out the report. "Kim Probable, Ron Spottable, Upperton."

"This is so flawed," Kim exploded.

"Aw man, can't anyone get my name right?" Ron added.

"What are you two talking about?" Death said.

"Dude, you've got the wrong people," Ron said.

"What do you mean?" Death said as he was confronted with the possibility that he had made The Mistake He Really, Really, Really Didn't Like to Make.

"I'm Kim Possible, he's Ron Stoppable," Kim explained.

"And this is Middleton," Ron added.

Death looked from Kim to Ron's bodies to their specters to their bodies then to their specters again.

"You're sure?" Death asked.

"So sure," Kim said icily.

A very uneasy silence descended upon the tree house. "My bad," Death finally said with an apologetic shrug.

"Well, now that we've got that out of the way," Ron said with a theatrical clap of his hands, "you can put us back in our bodies and be on your way. I'm sure those folks in Upperton can't wait to see you."

"Ron!" Kim exclaimed.

"What?" he replied. "Hood Boy just told us it's not our time and while I'm all about being with you for all eternity KP, I'm not ready for this part of the program …"

"That's so sweet," Kim cooed.

"… Monique and I have tickets to the GWA Smackdown next week and …"

Ron's voice trailed off when he saw the intensely displeased look on his fiancee's face.

"… And then of course there's the badical wedding and big house and bon-diggity kids and a dog and fish, we gotta have goldfish, especially since Rufus and Han are so tight now and he's living at Mom and Dad's, and everything else I was kind of hoping we'd do together for the next seventy or eighty years before we finally kicked the can."

"Nice save," she said with a fond smirk and a buss to his cheek.

"Hey, I do what I can," Ron replied, his relief evident.

Death, who had tucked his list back into his robe, began to nervously rub the back of his neck with one of his bony hands.

"Spill," Kim demanded when she saw the Grim Reaper's manifest unease.

"Well, you see, I can't undo what's been done. Once you're dead, you're dead."

"Sorry, not buying it, Dude," Ron said defiantly. "What about those celebutantes I've seen on _Dissing Death: Celebrity Edition_? They said they were dead and came back, even after they'd seen the white light. I've not seen any white light. Have you, KP?"

"Look—" Death began to protest.

"Actually, Ron's got a point," Kim interjected. "Mom's told me of cases where people were clinically dead but have been revived. Why not us?"

Death sighed. "Too much time's elapsed since I arrived."

"No way!" Ron said.

"Way," Death replied, holding up an hourglass whose sand had run to the bottom.

"Man, this tanks," Ron sulked. "So, uh, how did you off us?"

"'Off us'?" Death asked.

"You know, pull the trigger, make us kick the can, punch our tickets—"

"Ron wants to know how we died. We were both feeling spankin'."

"The salmon mousse," Death explained. Seeing the confused expressions on Kim and Ron's faces he added, "Botulism."

"I knew we should have had those little hot dogs," Ron whined as his fiancée grimaced – the fish course had been her idea.

Her chagrin soon faded, replaced by annoyance. With her arms folded across her chest, a ferociously tweaked Kim Possible leveled a withering gaze at the Grim Reaper. "This is so many flavors of wrong. I want to talk to someone. Now."

"Excuse me?" Death replied.

"What part of 'I want to talk to someone' don't you understand?" Kim snapped.

"You can't 'talk to someone.'" Death countered. "It isn't done. Now, if we just get on our way, I might be able to get back on sched—"

"Hello!" Kim interrupted. "You're not the one who was told she's dead because of a clerical error."

"I'm sorry about that, really I am. But there's nothing I can do about it and we really need to be on our way."

Kim responded by turning her back on Death. Ron immediately followed suit.

"Fine," he said with resignation. "I'll set up a meeting for you with Peter."

"Whoa," Ron said as he turned back to face Death. "You don't mean the guy at the Pearly Gates?" Ron asked.

"No, I mean the guy who sang with Paul and Mary," Death replied peevishly. "Of course I mean the one at the Pearly Gates."

"You don't have to be so snippy," Ron observed.

Death counted to ten and regained control of his breath. Then he spoke. "Now that this has all been settled, can we be going?"

Kim turned around. "No," she answered.

"What?" Death said.

"We'll talk to Peter," Kim explained. "But he has to come here. We're so not going anywhere with you until we know exactly what the sitch is."

"Look, Peter's very busy. You can't seriously expect him to come here!" Death said.

"Uh, dude, check her motto," Ron said with satisfaction. "She can do anything."

Death saw the look of determination on Kim's face, shook his cowl and sighed. "Fine. I'll get Peter," he conceded. "I should be back in just a moment so don't go anywhere."

With that pronouncement, Death disappeared, leaving Kim and Ron alone.

_To Be Continued …_

* * *

Many thanks to special guest proofreader Molloy.

KP © Disney; Death © Dick Cheney

The salmon mousse gag was lovingly borrowed from _Monty Python's Meaning of Life_.

Happy Halloween! Leave a review, and you'll get a treat (okay, you'll get a response). Don't and, well, you know all about the smelly feet …


	2. Stoppable Spectres

Thanks to Boris Yeltsin, Samurai Crunchbird, CajunBear73, whitem, Jurnee Jakes, Drag0nf1y, Eddy13, screaming phoenix, spectre666, Quathis, Donteatacowman, Daeron Blackoak, Josh84, Mr. Wizard, Captain IT, LTAOZFAN, Katsumara, Ran Hakubi, Danny-171984, noncynic, daywalkr82, RedBlueGreen, conan98002, daccu65, erayd, Yankee Bard, storyreader51, Sacred White Phoenix, bigherb81, Michael Howard, JAKT, campy, dex drako, DJ Dubois, Kwebs, Jillie Rose, Molloy, neithan, and Norwesterner for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

My eternal thanks to special guest proofreader Molloy.

Leave a review and I'll haunt your box with a reply.

KP © Disney

* * *

Kim and Ron, now alone and with time to contemplate the unexpected turn their evening had taken, stood quietly looking at their bodies.

"Well, this is certainly awk-weird. You. Me," he observed, before turning and gesturing to Kim and himself. "You. Me."

"Understatement much?"

She then gingerly reached for Ron, not knowing whether she'd actually be able to touch him; much to her relief, she was able to twine her fingers with his. "I'd have been so tweaked if I couldn't do this anymore."

"Yeah," he said. "Or this," he added as he brought his lips to hers.

Much to his disappointment, she pulled away. "Time and place," she said, nodding towards their bodies.

"Oh, uh, yeah," he said. "My bad."

"No big. There'll be time for that later," she said, squeezing her fiancé's hand.

"You think so?" Ron asked.

"Well, it does look like we're going to have forever together."

"You think you can put up with me that long?"

"Admittedly, it'll be hard," she said playfully, "but I'm Kim Possible," she said confidently. "And even if I'm dead, I can still do anything."

"True," Ron agreed jauntily. "Unless …" he continued uneasily.

"Unless what?" Kim asked.

"Unless they split us up," he answered, panic in his voice.

"Nobody's splitting us up," Kim said with exasperation.

Ron gulped. "But what about the Zombie Mayhem cheat codes and the time I cheated my way onto the football team or when last month I downloaded that paper for my history and, and … I don't want to go to the Hot Place!"

"Deep breaths, Ron," Kim ordered. "I'm sure they won't send you to Hell."

"How can you be sure?"

"I can't," Kim admitted. "But it just wouldn't make sense to do that for that kind of stuff."

"I guess you're right," Ron said, his relief manifest. "Thanks for the reassuring, KP."

"You're welcome. And you're so busted," she scolded. "Downloading a term paper from the Internet? What were you thinking?"

Ron's shoulders sagged. "I was getting swamped between work and missions and—"

"And you could have asked me for help," Kim said sharply.

"But I wanted you to be proud of me!"

"Ron, I'm proud of you when you try your best," she said, laying her hands on his shoulders. "That's all that matters to me. You know that."

"Sorry," he said, hanging his head.

"It's okay," she said softly. "Just don't do it again." She reached up and gently lifted his chin, then brought her lips to his.

"What about time and place?" Ron asked teasingly.

"Shut up," she murmured with a playful smirk.

Kim and Ron were about to kiss when a theatrically loud throat clearing startled them out of their moment. Standing next to the tree house entrance was Peter, noble in bearing, wise in aspect, of kind mien, resplendent in snowy-white robes. In short, he nicely fit the clichéd bill of how the Guardian to the Pearly Gates should appear.

"Miss Possible, Mr. Stoppable," he said in a deep, warm voice, clasping their hands. "Please accept my apologies for what happened earlier this evening. I'm absolutely mortified by this whole situation."

Kim smiled. "Apology accepted," she said graciously.

"Same here," Ron agreed. "So, when do we get to be alive again?"

"About that," Peter said, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Spill," Kim demanded, suspecting she already knew the answer.

"You don't," Peter sighed.

"You so can't be serious!" Kim exploded.

"Note ser—"

"Don't say it, Dude," Ron warned. "That's my line."

"Fine," Peter offered with a shrug. "I'm not kidding. Look, I really wish I could help you, but I can't. You're dead and there's nothing that can be done. When you're dead, you're dead."

"What about Lazarus?" Kim retorted.

"That was all planned," Peter replied. "Now, let's talk about what comes next …"

"You set up an appointment for us with the Big Guy,' Ron said.

Peter looked from Kim and Ron to their bodies. "You know, this really isn't such a bad way to go."

"That's easy for you to say," Ron gibed. "You probably died in your sleep when you were eighty."

Kim cringed.

"Okay, the Ronster's been known, on very rare occasions, to put his foot in his mouth," he said. "What did I say?"

"Peter was martyred," she explained.

The pained expression on Ron's face made clear 'martyr' wasn't a school world. "My bad," he gulped.

"Don't worry about it," Peter said kindly as he rested his hand on Ron's shoulder. "That's a bit of Christian history I wouldn't expect you to know."

"Thanks," Ron said, though he still felt bad.

"Okay, here's the situation," Peter said. "I can set up an appointment for the two of you with The Man. You can make your case. If he says so, we'll find a way to send you back, but then all bets are off."

"What do you mean?" Kim asked.

"Since the future's contingent, there's no telling what will happen to you or when. Well, The Man knows, but he won't say anything. For the rest of us, what's to come is still an unwritten, unplotted story with any number of possible outcomes."

"Man, this reminds me of _Captain Constellation_," Ron mused.

"Excuse me?" said an incredulous Kim, who was not at all interested in discussing Sci-Fi TV trash.

"_Dorn's Dilemma_?" Ron offered. "Don't you remember, KP?"

"I try not to," she said acidly, still annoyed that she knew every episode of the space opera thanks to her father's intervention in the wake of the Memory Recovery Machine incident. "Sitch me."

"The episode where Commander Dorn is caught up in every one of his possible futures? We could go out saving the world in bon-diggity fashion …" Ron suggested eagerly.

"Or be run down by Frugal Lucre as he speeds to Smarty Mart to save extra pennies on canned Polish ham," Kim countered with less enthusiasm.

"I will never look at ham the same way again," Ron said, earning a glare from Kim. "Just saying …" he added sheepishly.

"Do you think we could have a moment?" Kim asked Peter.

"Of course. I'll just wait at the base of the tree," he answered before he vanished.

"This is so the drama," Kim replied after they were alone.

"I'm with you on that, KP."

Kim sighed. "More time with you would be spankin'," she said, embracing him.

"True," Ron agreed. "But I sense a 'but'."

"What happens if I die next year?" she said, pulling back to look him in the eye. "And you live to be a hundred?"

"I'll grow old alone," Ron said plainly.

"Which I'm so not down with," Kim said. "You deserve someone."

"But I want to be with you," he protested.

"Same here, Captain Romance," she replied tenderly. "Now and forever."

"Kimila, you are without doubt the most bon-diggity fiancée ever."

"No big," she said casually though her eyes reflected just how much Ron's compliment meant to her.

"You know," Ron said, "I always thought if we bit the dust early it would be in some kind of badical, action-hero-y way."

Kim cocked an eyebrow.

"What? There'd be some huge doomsday bomb thingie about to explode and mutants running everywhere—"

"You are so weird."

"And Will Du would be in charge of Global Justice and other than us the world's last hope …"

"Okay, now you're scaring me,' Kim said, unable to suppress a grin before her expression turned serious. "Ron, I hate saying this, but I think it's time for us to go." She turned and looked at their bodies. "At least this way, our families will remember us doing something fun when we died."

"Sounds good to me, KP. But on one condition."

"And that would be?" Kim asked.

"We ask Peter to marry us. Assuming they do marriage in heaven, that is."

Kim smiled. "I think I can work with that."

"Badical!" he exclaimed as he pulled her back into a hug which she happily returned.

"Well, I guess we should tell Peter," Kim said.

Just as they leaned over the hatch opening to look for Peter, he appeared beside them.

"I take it you've made a decision?" he asked.

Ron jumped. "Dude, don't do that! You could scare a guy to death!"

"I'm sorry," Peter replied. "What is it you say? My bad?"

Kim groaned and rolled her eyes. Then she took a deep breath, knowing she was about to utter some of the most important words of her existence. "We've made a decision," she said as she took Ron's hand in hers, exchanging a glance with her love. "We're ready to go with you."

_To Be Continued …_


	3. BOOyah!

Thanks to Mr. Wizard, whitem, daccu65, CajunBear73, Josh84, campy, screaming phoenix, Shrike176, Jurnee Jakes, Eddy13, Travis Hicks, Quathis, Katsumara, Guns Knives and Napalm, noncynic, Sacred White Phoenix, LTAOZFAN, Drag0nf1y, cpneb, , Danny-171984, bigherb81, Jillie Rose, Classic Cowboy, Molloy, Michael Howard, and Pablo Gilberto for reviewing and to everyone for reading.

As ever, leave a review and I will reply.

My eternal thanks to Molloy for his beta and proofreading assistance with this story.

KP © Disney

* * *

Peter responded to Kim's declaration by doing something she'd seen her fiancé do many, many, many times over the years.

"Okay, maybe that's a good sign in the Afterlife …" Ron said without much conviction.

"Ron, rubbing the back of one's neck nervously is never a good sign," Kim said. Fixing her steely gaze on Peter, she demanded, "Spill."

Peter sighed. "You can't come with me."

"I knew it!" Ron wailed as he dropped to his knees. "We're going to the Other Place! Why, oh why, did I let myself be blinded by that mad quest for Zombie Mayhem greatness?

"Is he usually like this?" Peter asked.

"More often than you'd think," Kim said. "But he's harmless and his cooking more than makes up for the melodrama. So, just what is the sitch?"

"How I rue the day I ever picked up a game controller!" Ron cried out.

Peter winced. "Will he be done soon?"

Ron looked up at Kim and Peter. "You guys want me to finish?"

"Please and thank you," she said.

"Uno momento," Ron said to his fiancée. "We're going to spend all of eternity consumed by an unquenchable inferno because of my foolish dream of entering video game heaven! Oh, the irony!" His overwrought declaration complete, Ron rose to his feet. "Okay, KP. All done."

"Thanks," she said with a smirk.

"First, you're not going to Hell," Peter said.

"Whew," Ron said with great relief.

"Though stealing of any kind is highly deplorable. I'm sure you know that it's on the Top Ten list."

"Uh, yeah," Ron said, reddening.

"So don't do it again."

"Gotcha," Ron said sheepishly.

"Good," Peter said, satisfied that Ron had gotten the message. "Now, here's the problem: We simply don't have room for you."

"Excuse me?" an incredulous Kim replied. "You so can't be serious."

"Unfortunately," Peter said. "I am."

"Wait a minute," Ron said. "You mean to tell me that some hoity-toity operation like the Afterlife can't find a couple of spare beds? I mean, it's not like Kim and me are all that big and, besides, we want to be married—"

"Married?" Peter interjected.

"That's right," Kim said, taking Ron's hand. "We were engaged tonight and had planned to spend the rest of our lives together."

"Which we'd expected to be long and happy until your bud Death knocked on the wrong door," Ron added peevishly.

"A post-life marriage would be highly unusual," Peter said, much to the disappointment of Kim and Ron. "However, given the circumstances, I think we can arrange for some dispensation."

"Badical!" Ron exulted. "So, you see? Now we only need one place to hang our hats. Or halos. Or harps. Or, hey, do you think we could play trumpets instead? Trumpets are kind of cool and harps are, oh, I don't know, wimpy."

"I'm looking forward to watching you tell King David that he was a wimp," Peter said.

"King David plays a harp?" Ron asked. "I thought he wielded a slingshot."

"Let me guess," Kim said with an all-too-practiced roll of the eye. "You missed that class at Hebrew School."

"Hey, I was busy that childhood," Ron said defensively. "Still, if the number one action hero in Jewish hist—"

"Ron, focus," Kim said sharply.

"Will do," Ron replied contritely.

"Thank you," she said, squeezing his hand. Then she turned to Peter. "Now, about the no vacancy sign. I am so not down with that given that it was your mistake that got us into this sitch."

"Well, it wasn't me personally …" Peter said defensively.

"Dude," Ron said. "It was your people. Same thing."

"Okay, fair enough," Peter conceded.

"Hey, I've got an idea," Ron said. "If you guys have a full house, why don't you just give us the spots you had set aside for the people Death was supposed to knock off? It's not like they need them."

"You interested in wearing SPF 3 million?" Peter asked.

Ron gulped.

"Moving onto Plan B," Kim suggested.

"Admittedly," Peter said, "this situation doesn't reflect positively on us …"

"Understatement much?" Kim said.

"… But heaven is a very complex place. We have to accommodate trillions and trillions of souls from countless worlds and dimensions, providing roles and places for each and every one as they arrive."

"But we're versatile!" Ron said. "Kim can do anything and I, well, I've got hustle!"

"Which is why Michael had his eye on you."

"Michael?" Kim asked.

"Archangel who, with some others, fights the Forces of Darkness – Powers, Principalities, Dominions, Satanic minions, that kind of thing."

"Coolio!" Ron said. "We're going to be part of HJ!"

"HJ?" Peter asked.

"Let me guess: Heavenly Justice," Kim offered, a wry smile on her face. The smile, however, quickly turned to something harder as she crossed her arms, cocked an eyebrow, and peered at Peter, who suddenly felt quite uncomfortable. "You just mentioned that someone had plans for us," Kim said. "Yet a few minutes ago you told us that our futures were contingent and unknowable. Something's so not kosher here."

"Actually, everything's kosher," Peter explained. "We know who's coming to the afterworld, we just don't know when. And while we can't be sure how your lives will unfold – and thus whether you go to the proverbial upstairs or downstairs – we can make predictions. Our models indicated that it was highly unlikely that either of you would turn evil on your own."

"How unlikely is unlikely?" Ron asked.

"How about as unlikely as Kim leaving you to become a professional _Captain Constellation_ fan girl and you moving into a bachelor pad with your cousin Shawn and his pet iguana," Peter suggested.

"KP! I thought you hated Captain Constellation!"

"I do," Kim groaned. "I'm not a hundred percent on this sitch. It's so many flavors of wrong."

"I will readily grant you that," Peter said. "As I said before, I am terribly sorry about what has happened tonight."

"And while I appreciate the apology, Ron and I are still dead with nowhere to go," Kim said.

"Hey, we can always stay here," suggested Ron.

"What are you talking about?" Kim asked.

"The tree house," Ron answered. "We can haunt it! We are ghosts, aren't we?"

"Essentially, yes," Peter answered. "At least until we settle you in Heaven."

"See, KP?" Ron said with satisfaction, obviously pleased with his plan. "We're Chauncey."

"You are so flawed," Kim said.

"Not this time, Kimbo," Ron replied. "Think about it," he said with mounting enthusiasm. "It'll only be until Peter and his peeps get us squared away Upstairs. Till then, we can come and go as we please, spook whoever we want."

"Wait a minute. You actually want me to haunt people?" she asked. "I am so not going to be some ghastly ghoul!"

"'Sha! There's no way someone as beautilicious as you could be a ghastly anything," he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "I was thinking more along the lines of you being a glamorous ghost with a bon-diggity spectral sidekick. Just imagine the look on Drakken's and Shego's faces when we materialize or whatever it is ghosts do and bust up their latest scheme …"

"Hmm." Kim rubbed her chin and began to contemplate this new and unexpected option for fighting the bad guys. Drakken and Shego, who'd married and then returned to a life of villainy after the ruckus arising from the Lorwardian invasion had died down, had been suspiciously quiet as of late.

"… Then we can go smack down Dementor! And put the brakes on Motor Ed! And, and—"

"I get the idea," Kim said with a smile as she placed a finger on Ron's lips. She then turned to Peter. "What do you think?"

"It's unorthodox, but then again this whole situation is unorthodox," Peter said. "I think we have a workable plan."

"Spankin'" Kim said.

"Very good, then," Peter said. "I suspect it won't be too long before we can accommodate you. Until then, good luck, enjoy yourselves, and, if Lucifer shows up offering you a supposedly better deal, turn him down unless you're interested in forfeiting your immortal souls to eternal damnation."

"No need to worry," Ron said confidently. "You can just call me Mr. Resistance. Nobody's gonna swindle Ron Stoppable with some slick Satanic sales spiel!"

"Nice alliteration," Kim said admiringly.

"I try," he replied, now beaming with pride.

"What if he offers donuts?" she gibed playfully.

Ron laughed nervously. "Okay, maybe I'll let you do the resisting for both of us."

"Smart boy," she said approvingly as she linked her fingers with his.

"I should take my leave now," Peter said. "Again, my deepest apologies for the inconvenience."

"Wait," Kim said. "Before you go …"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you could do something about us?" she asked, gesturing towards the two entwined bodies.

"How's this?" Peter asked. Kim and Ron were amazed to see their bodies now sitting up, cuddling close, with Ron's arm around Kim's shoulder and her head resting in the crook of his neck. They wore contented smiles and appeared to be asleep while Kim's left hand, with its engagement ring showing, rested on her lap.

"That is the coolest thing I've ever seen," Ron said in awe. "And it isn't going to hurt us!"

Peter smiled, dipped his head in acknowledgment of Ron's compliment, and then disappeared, leaving Kim and Ron alone.

"Well, this evening turned out differently than expected," Ron said.

"Oh, I don't know about that," Kim observed.

"What do you mean?" Ron said. "We're dead!"

"Actually, I think we're alive, just in a different way," Kim said. "Which means you're stuck with me forever since you asked me to spend the rest of my life with you."

"KP, I'm all about being stuck with you." Ron said as he wrapped his arms around Kim. "After all, you are without doubt the most bon-diggity lover, in this or any life."

"You're not that bad yourself," she said, bringing her lips to his. After they kissed, she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm so glad we can still do that."

"Yeah," Ron agreed, softly.

They held each other in silence, enjoying each other's presence. Finally, Kim drew back, though she remained in her fiancé's arms. She looked at their bodies, peacefully seated on the couch, then at Ron.

"They're going to come looking for us," Kim observed, knowing that their parents would eventually wonder why their children, who were visiting from college, had not returned home. Sooner or later they'd make their way to the old tree house. "Things are going to get exciting around here. Maybe we should ace this place for a while."

"You sure, KP?"

Kim nodded, surprised by how at peace she was with things. While she was sad and knew that some time in the future she'd want, indeed need, to check on her family, just as she knew Ron would too, she was also excited by the new adventure she and her beloved were about to share.

"Well then, after you," Ron said, gesturing to the hatch with a gentlemanly bow and flourish.

Kim snorted, blew him an air kiss, and approached the exit.

Now ready to leave, they looked at themselves one last time, climbed through the hatch and began to make their way down to the base of the tree.

"I'm glad we're still solid," Kim observed.

"Yeah, though I'm hoping we'll figure out how to dematerialize so we can walk through walls," Ron replied.

"You are so weird," she said.

"Hey, I am what I—whoops!"

Ron was taken by surprise when his foot missed a rung and he slipped. Rather than fall to the ground, though, he did a clumsy flip and found himself floating upside down a few feet above the ground. "Coolio!" he exclaimed. Filled with childlike wonder, he began doing some back-flips.

"Ron, stop fooling around," Kim said, unable to hide her bemusement and delight at what she was seeing.

"Fear not, KP. My head's in the game," he said as he gently drifted towards the ground. Much to his chagrin, the moment he touched down, his pants fell to his ankles. "Aw, man! Not even when I'm a ghost!"

Kim covered her mouth and tried, without much success, to stifle her giggles. "Come on, you big goof," she said affectionately. "Let's go."

As Ron adjusted his trousers, Kim smiled. Then she twined her fingers with his and they began to walk, hand-in-hand, across the moonlit grass and into their future.


End file.
